The Joke Thread

[sassofalco]

Sorry for jumping into your private messages.

Not at all, not at all.....dear Chap,:D

Norm is want to speak a little in riddles at times, in urdu and hindi at others, and frequently.....in tongues!!

He is merely advising all and sundry, that a "bread and butter pudding" - with lashings of raisins, cinnamon and custard, and wrapped in plain brown paper tied with string, is oooooozing its way in the heat, to me.

If you too can stand the heat.....jump in as often as you like!!

Toodle-pip

 

[NormCameron]

Sorry for jumping into your private messages.

This IS a public forum. How could you jump in? You are welcome, friend.

 

[Joan Archer]

I'll have some of that bread and butter pudding if you've got any to spare

 

[NormCameron]

I'll have some of that bread and butter pudding if you've got any to spare

Certainly Madame. Would Madame also like some flies on the side? Adds to the flavour.

​

 

[johngalt]

Not to mention the protein content

 

[sassofalco]

I'll have some of that bread and butter pudding if you've got any to spare

Certainly Madame. Would Madame also like some flies on the side? Adds to the flavour.

When one considers the wanton leer on the face of the 'Aussie Gentleman' (sic), one cannot resist pondering the question that perhaps the lecherous look results from the probability, that in all likelihood, the 'Gentleman' concerned is otherwise engaged with a 'pudding' in each hand - each closely attended by flies, of one form or another!

 

[Joan Archer]

Think I'll pass on the flies Norm I've had my protein for the day

 

[garysgold]

Snorkeling in Maine!!!



They think alcohol *may* have been involved. :D

Gary

 

[NormCameron]

Snorkeling in Maine!!!

They think alcohol *may* have been involved. :D

Gary

Alcohol ! Are you sure?

 

[smarteyeball]

Snorkeling in Maine!!!

They think alcohol *may* have been involved. :D

Gary

Alcohol ! Are you sure?

LMAO

Alcohol? Surely not. Wait, isn't that what everyone does on a Sunday evening?

 

[NormCameron]

Snorkeling in Maine!!!

They think alcohol *may* have been involved. :D

Gary

Alcohol ! Are you sure?

LMAO

Alcohol? Surely not. Wait, isn't that what everyone does on a Sunday evening?

Not around our way they don't

​

 

[NormCameron]

Sorry, wrong picture, that isn't aussie. This is a true blue aussie sunday

(or maybe New Silander, hard to tell from the dresses.)
​

 

[sassofalco]

View attachment 8334

An implosion took place in the braine
of this diver, a native of Maine.
Bare-arsed, fully buff,
belly-down in ice-cold stuff,
his frostbitten 'bits' cause him most paine!

 

[smarteyeball]

^lol

(or maybe New Silander, hard to tell from the dresses.)
​

It's choice either way, hey bro. We didn't have enough gulls to have six with, so we made our own

 

[sassofalco]

^lol

(or maybe New Silander, hard to tell from the dresses.)​

It's choice either way, hey bro. We didn't have enough gulls to have six with, so we made our own

He're some choice gulls for stimulating conversation.......ef y'kin nunnerstan 'em! All the attributes a Naval Stoker could ever wish for!!

'True blue' Aussies on Melbourne Cup Day! The day when a Nation STOPS to watch future cabinet-making glue, or dog tucker [horses], run round and round a post and rail fence....

I rest my case.

View attachment 8340

View attachment 8341

 

[garysgold]

LMAO :D

No Brain - No Pain

Gary

 

[ripbox]

A guy walks into ASDA and slaps his circumcised Johnson on the counter and says "bet you cant roll that back"

sorry if its not something i should post here but i found it very funny well provided you know what ASDA is
Asda Rollback Advert, Ad - Asda Stores - Video Clip

 

[NormCameron]

[FONT=&quot]A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the [/FONT][FONT=&quot]man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound; a sound like no other that he has ever heard[/FONT][FONT=&quot]. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, We can't tell you. You're not a monk.

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same [/FONT][FONT=&quot]m[/FONT][FONT=&quot]onastery.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]The monks again accept him, feed him, and even fix his car.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]That night, he hears the same strange mesmerizing sound that he had heard years earlier.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]The next morning, he asks what the sound was, but the monks reply,[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]We can't tell you. You're not a monk.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]The man says, All right, all right. I'm dying to know.


If the only way I can find out what that sound was, is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]The monks reply, you must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, I have traveled the earth and devoted my life to the task demanded and have found what you had asked for. There are 371,145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]

[/FONT][FONT=&quot]The monks reply, Congratulations, you are correct and now you are a monk.


We shall now show you the way to[/FONT][FONT=&quot] the sound.[/FONT] [FONT=&quot]
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, the sound is behind that door.
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He asks, May I have the key?[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]The monks give him the key, and he opens the door.
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]
Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The[/FONT][FONT=&quot] man requests[/FONT][FONT=&quot] the key to the stone door.
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire[/FONT][FONT=&quot]. And so it[/FONT][FONT=&quot] went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, [/FONT][FONT=&quot]silver, topaz, and amethyst.
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]Finally, the [/FONT][FONT=&quot]monks say, This is the key to the last door.

[/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot]The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is astonished to find the source of that strange sound. It is truly an amazing and unbelievable sight




[/FONT][FONT=&quot] [/FONT][FONT=&quot]
[/FONT][FONT=&quot]BUT, I can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]


[/FONT][FONT=&quot]DON'T SWEAR AT ME; I'M STILL HUNTING FOR THE IDIOT WHO SENT THIS TO ME![/FONT]
__._,_.___

 

[sassofalco]

Awwwwwwwww! Jeeeeeeeeeeeez Norm!

The only satisfaction felt, results from the knowledge that the last effort of yours, took considerably longer for you to prepare, than I took in reaching the conclusion that I'm not a Monk!!

Peace upon you Brother Norm

 

[sassofalco]

View attachment 8334

Gary

Alternative Subject Description;

"Moving forward swimmingly, prodding and probing the icy-cold layers of frozen powder, "Willy" could not quite get a handle on the missing snow-shovel!! Shrinkage was his biggest problem!!"