The Joke Thread

2008's First Christmas Joke
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

"In honor of this holy season" Saint Peter said, "You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven."

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. "It represents a candle", he said.

"You may pass through the pearly gates" Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, "They're bells."

Saint Peter said "You may pass through the pearly gates".

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And just what do those symbolize?"


The man replied, "These are Carols."

And So The Christmas Season Begins......
 

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LOL that's a good Christmas joke :p
 

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Lol
 

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I like that one, hope you don't mind me borrowing it to put on another forum I belong to :D
 

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More Sexual Discrimination

image001.jpg
 

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Very funny indeed, I'm going to tell that one to our neighbour tomorrow, and by a coincidence her daughters name is Carol lol :D

I don't think it would offend would it? not sure now I have doubts, still my Mum said that the neighbour will find it funny, she's a good sport, I just won't tell it when her daughters around lol

But great joke lol

Jekyll and Hyde ;)
 

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No mate, it shouldn't be offensive :)
 

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Oh good, would'nt want to get my face slapped, had enough of that when I was dating lol (yes I was'nt any good at it, and still are'nt :o

Jekyll and Hyde ;)
 

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lol :)
 

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Rofl
 

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Special at local Pub

twodrinkspecial.jpg
 

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True Ausie humour.
 

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True Ausie humour.

As the Sepoys pointed out to me.........

"Good Evening my good Man. I'd like to take you up on your most generous of offers......please, if you will, I shall be eternally grateful, if you would pour forth for the price of your cheapest plonk, two of your finest single malt Scotch Whisky!! A Glengoyle will be fine, thank-you. "

So! Who has the last laugh?:p
 

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Of course, silly me!
 

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True Ausie humour.

As the Sepoys pointed out to me.........

"Good Evening my good Man. I'd like to take you up on your most generous of offers......please, if you will, I shall be eternally grateful, if you would pour forth for the price of your cheapest plonk, two of your finest single malt Scotch Whisky!! A Glengoyle will be fine, thank-you. "

So! Who has the last laugh?:p
Enough of this Sassofalco, you were warned, a missive went forth this morning from old Gladstone Town, headed for you. Beware the mailman!!!:sa:
 

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True Ausie humour.

As the Sepoys pointed out to me.........

"Good Evening my good Man. I'd like to take you up on your most generous of offers......please, if you will, I shall be eternally grateful, if you would pour forth for the price of your cheapest plonk, two of your finest single malt Scotch Whisky!! A Glengoyle will be fine, thank-you. "

So! Who has the last laugh?:p
Enough of this Sassofalco, you were warned, a missive went forth this morning from old Gladstone Town, headed for you. Beware the mailman!!!:sa:


This was a cryptic message aimed at Sassofalco. He alone knows of wot I speak:zip:
 

My Computer

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    Zotac Amp Edition 8800GT - 512MB DDR3, O/C 700mhz
    Monitor(s) Displays
    Samsung 206BW
    Screen Resolution
    1680 X 1024
    Hard Drives
    4 X Samsung 500GB 7200rpm Serial ATA-II HDD w. 16MB Cache .
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    550 w
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    Thermaltake
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    3 x octua NF-S12-1200 - 120mm 1200RPM Sound Optimised Fans
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    Targus
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    Microsoft
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    Self built.
As the Sepoys pointed out to me.........

"Good Evening my good Man. I'd like to take you up on your most generous of offers......please, if you will, I shall be eternally grateful, if you would pour forth for the price of your cheapest plonk, two of your finest single malt Scotch Whisky!! A Glengoyle will be fine, thank-you. "

So! Who has the last laugh?:p
Enough of this Sassofalco, you were warned, a missive went forth this morning from old Gladstone Town, headed for you. Beware the mailman!!!:sa:


This was a cryptic message aimed at Sassofalco. He alone knows of wot I speak:zip:


You missed!! Ha! Ha! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!
 

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image003.jpg
 

My Computer

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    4 X Samsung 500GB 7200rpm Serial ATA-II HDD w. 16MB Cache .
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    Self built.

My Computer

System One

  • Manufacturer/Model
    Scratch Built
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    Intel Quad Core 6600
    Motherboard
    Asus P5B
    Memory
    4096 MB Xtreme-Dark 800mhz
    Graphics card(s)
    Zotac Amp Edition 8800GT - 512MB DDR3, O/C 700mhz
    Monitor(s) Displays
    Samsung 206BW
    Screen Resolution
    1680 X 1024
    Hard Drives
    4 X Samsung 500GB 7200rpm Serial ATA-II HDD w. 16MB Cache .
    PSU
    550 w
    Case
    Thermaltake
    Cooling
    3 x octua NF-S12-1200 - 120mm 1200RPM Sound Optimised Fans
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    Targus
    Keyboard
    Microsoft
    Internet Speed
    1500kbs
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    Self built.
Sorry for jumping into your private messages.
 

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    Realtek
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    1280 x 800 x 4294967296 colors
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    crawl
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