The Joke Thread

[NormCameron]

The perfect game for the modern ADHD kid.

 

[orrin_bare]

View attachment 7724

I know it is possible to do. My friend used his webcam and a program that used the feed from the webcam and turned it into a constantly updating picture file. He then went into the background settings and selected the file as the desktop background. I think he had it for his screensaver too. I'll try to get in touch with him and find the program and where to get it.

 

[micman888]

A woman with no arms or legs entered a strawberry picking contest and won!!!
jammy t.w.a.t

 

[micman888]

One day a man has a terrible stomach complaint and goes along to his doctor to see what can be done about it.
The doctor tells him that he is very ill, but that he can cure his condition with a course of suppositories, inserted deep into his butt every six hours.
‘Right,’ says the doctor, ‘bend over and I’ll do the first one for you.’
The man bends down and the doctor sticks the suppository deep into his hole.
He then gives the man his course and sends him home.
At home six hours later the man realises that he can’t stick the suppository far enough up his butt on his own, and he asks his wife to help him insert the slippery bullet.
After explaining to her what to do the man bends over.
His wife puts one hand on her husband’s shoulder to brace herself and thrusts the suppository really hard into his arse.
To her horror, the man lets out a desperate, blood-curdling scream.
‘My God!’ she cries. ‘What’s the matter? Have I hurt you?’
‘No,’ replies the man. ‘But I’ve just realised that when the doctor did it he had both hands on my shoulders.’

 

[micman888]

look at the t.i.t.s on this

 

[NormCameron]

Don't say I didn't warn you

​

 

[NormCameron]

And one for Echrada

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[NormCameron]

Safe Sex

​

 

[echrada]

Thanks Norm appreciate that you're thinking of me in that context....

 

[NormCameron]

Christmas Fairy

It's that time again, when Santa and all the fairies come out to play:-

​

 

[Joan Archer]

:D Oh Norm that was funny, wonder if he's feeling the cold

 

[echrada]

People from our company

 

[Joan Archer]

I like that lot echrada, I wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of the boss :D

 

[NormCameron]

echrada
Loved the post Lmao

 

[sassofalco]

:D Oh Norm that was funny, wonder if he's feeling the cold

You betcha Joan!!

His thermostatic indicator will be snapped-up so, so closed, he'll need tweezers and string to re-engage.....and a blowtorch to re-activate!

 

[garysgold]

LMAO.

Love the van.
I've shoveled my share of snow, but I can honestly say I was never attired like that.

Echrada, I think I've worked with a few of those people. Definitely the Boss and his wife.

Gary

 

[echrada]

A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I
born?'
The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need
to find out anyway!
Your Mum and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.

Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mum and we met at a
cyber-cafe.

We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a
download from my hard drive.

As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither
one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit
the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:


'You got Male!'

 

[sassofalco]

A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I
born?'
The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need
to find out anyway!
Your Mum and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.

Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mum and we met at a
cyber-cafe.

We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a
download from my hard drive.

As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither
one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit
the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:


'You got Male!'

.....so now sit back and wait for every virus known!

 

[NormCameron]

An Israeli doctor says 'Medicine in my country is so advanced that we took a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and now he's looking for work.'A German doctor says 'That is nothing; we took a lung out of one person, put it in another, and he's now looking for work. The Russian doctor says 'In my country, medicine is so advanced that we took half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and both of them are looking for work.


An American doctor, not to be outdone, says 'You guys are way behind, we recently took a man with no brains out of Texas, put him in the White House, and now half the country is looking for work.'
<o></o>

 

[Joan Archer]

Rofl