The Joke Thread

  • A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

What are you trying to say? Am I supposed to like the look of cows?:p;)
 

My Computer

System One

  • Manufacturer/Model
    Toshiba Satellite Pro l300
    CPU
    Intel(R) Celeron(R) CPU 550 @ 2.00GHz
    Motherboard
    Intel Corp. 88395664Q
    Memory
    DDR2, PC2-5300 (333 MHz), 1024 MBytes, Hyundai Electronics,DDR2, PC2-5300 (333 MHz), 2048 MBytes, Ap
    Graphics card(s)
    Mobile Intel(R) 965 Express Chipset Family
    Sound Card
    Realtek HD Audio
    Monitor(s) Displays
    Matte screen
    Screen Resolution
    1024 x 768 x 4294967296 colors
    Hard Drives
    120gb SATA 2.5inch FUJITSU MHZ2120BH G1 ATA Device
    Case
    Notebook
    Cooling
    Fan cooled
    Mouse
    Logitech Cordless Optical
    Keyboard
    Logitech Cordless Desktop EX110
    Internet Speed
    256Kbps
    Other Info
    I like Spore,Rabbits and I'm a Computer Freak.
  • A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

What are you trying to say? Am I supposed to like the look of cows?:p;)
Whatever takes your fancy, each to us own and all that. I suppose that if you don't find the one on the left attractive, you could always go for the one on the right! :p
 

My Computer

System One

  • Manufacturer/Model
    Dwarf Dwf/11/2012 r09/2013
    CPU
    Intel Core-i5-3570K 4-core @ 3.4GHz (Ivy Bridge) (OC 4.2GHz)
    Motherboard
    ASRock Z77 Extreme4-M
    Memory
    4 x 4GB DDR3-1600 Corsair Vengeance CMZ8GX3M2A1600C9B (16GB)
    Graphics card(s)
    MSI GeForce GTX770 Gaming OC 2GB
    Sound Card
    Realtek High Definition on board solution (ALC 898)
    Monitor(s) Displays
    ViewSonic VA1912w Widescreen
    Screen Resolution
    1440x900
    Hard Drives
    OCZ Agility 3 120GB SATA III x2 (RAID 0) Samsung HD501LJ 500GB SATA II x2 Hitachi HDS721010CLA332 1TB SATA II Iomega 1.5TB Ext USB 2.0 WD 2.0TB Ext USB 3.0
    PSU
    XFX Pro Series 850W Semi-Modular
    Case
    Gigabyte IF233
    Cooling
    1 x 120mm Front Inlet 1 x 120mm Rear Exhaust
    Mouse
    Microsoft Comfort Mouse 3000 for Business (USB)
    Keyboard
    Microsoft Comfort Curve Keyboard 3000 (USB)
    Internet Speed
    NetGear DG834Gv3 ADSL Modem/Router (Ethernet) ~4.0 Mb/s (O2)
    Other Info
    Optical Drive: HL-DT-ST BD-RE BH10LS30 SATA Bluray Lexmark S305 Printer/Scanner/Copier (USB) WEI Score: 8.1/8.1/8.5/8.5/8.25 Asus Eee PC 1011PX Netbook (Windows 7 x86 Starter)
  • A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.
What are you trying to say? Am I supposed to like the look of cows?:p;)
Whatever takes your fancy, each to us own and all that. I suppose that if you don't find the one on the left attractive, you could always go for the one on the right! :p
Funny:p:p
 

My Computer

System One

  • Manufacturer/Model
    Toshiba Satellite Pro l300
    CPU
    Intel(R) Celeron(R) CPU 550 @ 2.00GHz
    Motherboard
    Intel Corp. 88395664Q
    Memory
    DDR2, PC2-5300 (333 MHz), 1024 MBytes, Hyundai Electronics,DDR2, PC2-5300 (333 MHz), 2048 MBytes, Ap
    Graphics card(s)
    Mobile Intel(R) 965 Express Chipset Family
    Sound Card
    Realtek HD Audio
    Monitor(s) Displays
    Matte screen
    Screen Resolution
    1024 x 768 x 4294967296 colors
    Hard Drives
    120gb SATA 2.5inch FUJITSU MHZ2120BH G1 ATA Device
    Case
    Notebook
    Cooling
    Fan cooled
    Mouse
    Logitech Cordless Optical
    Keyboard
    Logitech Cordless Desktop EX110
    Internet Speed
    256Kbps
    Other Info
    I like Spore,Rabbits and I'm a Computer Freak.
I have nothing to say! :zip:
 

My Computer

System One

  • Manufacturer/Model
    Dwarf Dwf/11/2012 r09/2013
    CPU
    Intel Core-i5-3570K 4-core @ 3.4GHz (Ivy Bridge) (OC 4.2GHz)
    Motherboard
    ASRock Z77 Extreme4-M
    Memory
    4 x 4GB DDR3-1600 Corsair Vengeance CMZ8GX3M2A1600C9B (16GB)
    Graphics card(s)
    MSI GeForce GTX770 Gaming OC 2GB
    Sound Card
    Realtek High Definition on board solution (ALC 898)
    Monitor(s) Displays
    ViewSonic VA1912w Widescreen
    Screen Resolution
    1440x900
    Hard Drives
    OCZ Agility 3 120GB SATA III x2 (RAID 0) Samsung HD501LJ 500GB SATA II x2 Hitachi HDS721010CLA332 1TB SATA II Iomega 1.5TB Ext USB 2.0 WD 2.0TB Ext USB 3.0
    PSU
    XFX Pro Series 850W Semi-Modular
    Case
    Gigabyte IF233
    Cooling
    1 x 120mm Front Inlet 1 x 120mm Rear Exhaust
    Mouse
    Microsoft Comfort Mouse 3000 for Business (USB)
    Keyboard
    Microsoft Comfort Curve Keyboard 3000 (USB)
    Internet Speed
    NetGear DG834Gv3 ADSL Modem/Router (Ethernet) ~4.0 Mb/s (O2)
    Other Info
    Optical Drive: HL-DT-ST BD-RE BH10LS30 SATA Bluray Lexmark S305 Printer/Scanner/Copier (USB) WEI Score: 8.1/8.1/8.5/8.5/8.25 Asus Eee PC 1011PX Netbook (Windows 7 x86 Starter)
Hey Dwarf,
How come I don't see you round here that often. Are you over at the seven forums?
 

My Computer

System One

  • Manufacturer/Model
    Toshiba Satellite Pro l300
    CPU
    Intel(R) Celeron(R) CPU 550 @ 2.00GHz
    Motherboard
    Intel Corp. 88395664Q
    Memory
    DDR2, PC2-5300 (333 MHz), 1024 MBytes, Hyundai Electronics,DDR2, PC2-5300 (333 MHz), 2048 MBytes, Ap
    Graphics card(s)
    Mobile Intel(R) 965 Express Chipset Family
    Sound Card
    Realtek HD Audio
    Monitor(s) Displays
    Matte screen
    Screen Resolution
    1024 x 768 x 4294967296 colors
    Hard Drives
    120gb SATA 2.5inch FUJITSU MHZ2120BH G1 ATA Device
    Case
    Notebook
    Cooling
    Fan cooled
    Mouse
    Logitech Cordless Optical
    Keyboard
    Logitech Cordless Desktop EX110
    Internet Speed
    256Kbps
    Other Info
    I like Spore,Rabbits and I'm a Computer Freak.
I try to spread myself around a bit.
Capture.PNG
And no, this is NOT me (contrary to popular belief)! :p
 

My Computer

System One

  • Manufacturer/Model
    Dwarf Dwf/11/2012 r09/2013
    CPU
    Intel Core-i5-3570K 4-core @ 3.4GHz (Ivy Bridge) (OC 4.2GHz)
    Motherboard
    ASRock Z77 Extreme4-M
    Memory
    4 x 4GB DDR3-1600 Corsair Vengeance CMZ8GX3M2A1600C9B (16GB)
    Graphics card(s)
    MSI GeForce GTX770 Gaming OC 2GB
    Sound Card
    Realtek High Definition on board solution (ALC 898)
    Monitor(s) Displays
    ViewSonic VA1912w Widescreen
    Screen Resolution
    1440x900
    Hard Drives
    OCZ Agility 3 120GB SATA III x2 (RAID 0) Samsung HD501LJ 500GB SATA II x2 Hitachi HDS721010CLA332 1TB SATA II Iomega 1.5TB Ext USB 2.0 WD 2.0TB Ext USB 3.0
    PSU
    XFX Pro Series 850W Semi-Modular
    Case
    Gigabyte IF233
    Cooling
    1 x 120mm Front Inlet 1 x 120mm Rear Exhaust
    Mouse
    Microsoft Comfort Mouse 3000 for Business (USB)
    Keyboard
    Microsoft Comfort Curve Keyboard 3000 (USB)
    Internet Speed
    NetGear DG834Gv3 ADSL Modem/Router (Ethernet) ~4.0 Mb/s (O2)
    Other Info
    Optical Drive: HL-DT-ST BD-RE BH10LS30 SATA Bluray Lexmark S305 Printer/Scanner/Copier (USB) WEI Score: 8.1/8.1/8.5/8.5/8.25 Asus Eee PC 1011PX Netbook (Windows 7 x86 Starter)
I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over. Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.
As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong? He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'



I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.'
Eric grinned.... 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?




'No,' I replied. 'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it out.'
So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T


I used to like Eric, the little bastard

 

My Computer

System One

  • Manufacturer/Model
    Own Build
    CPU
    Amd Athlon 64x2 5000+
    Motherboard
    Gigabyte M61PSE-S2
    Memory
    4gb
    Graphics card(s)
    Ati Radeon Hd3400
    Monitor(s) Displays
    Samsung Syncmaster 2032bw
    Screen Resolution
    1680 x 1050
    PSU
    500w
    Mouse
    Gamer Mouse Optical GM-4200
    Keyboard
    Logitech G15
    Internet Speed
    8mb
I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over. Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.
As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong? He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'


I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.'
Eric grinned.... 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?



'No,' I replied. 'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it out.'
So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T

I used to like Eric, the little bastard


:roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:
 

My Computer

System One

  • Manufacturer/Model
    gateway/m6881
    CPU
    centrino core 2 duo 2.2ghz T7500
    Memory
    3GB
    Hard Drives
    500GB WD
    Mouse
    logitech
    Internet Speed
    fios 35MB not!!!!

My Computer

System One

  • Manufacturer/Model
    Custom Build
    CPU
    Intel Q9550 @ 4Gig / Titan Fenir
    Motherboard
    XFX 780i
    Memory
    4GB OCZ PC2-8500C5 DDR2
    Graphics card(s)
    Gainward GTX260/216 SLI
    Sound Card
    Creative X-FI Xtreme Gamer
    Monitor(s) Displays
    Dell UltraSharp 2209WA 22"
    Screen Resolution
    1680x1050
    Hard Drives
    western digital raptor 10000rpm sata
    PSU
    OCZ Modstream 700w
    Cooling
    Titan Fenir
    Mouse
    Logitech G5 Gamer
    Keyboard
    Razer Reclusa
    Internet Speed
    8mb
LOL Funny:roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:
 

My Computer

System One

  • Manufacturer/Model
    Toshiba Satellite Pro l300
    CPU
    Intel(R) Celeron(R) CPU 550 @ 2.00GHz
    Motherboard
    Intel Corp. 88395664Q
    Memory
    DDR2, PC2-5300 (333 MHz), 1024 MBytes, Hyundai Electronics,DDR2, PC2-5300 (333 MHz), 2048 MBytes, Ap
    Graphics card(s)
    Mobile Intel(R) 965 Express Chipset Family
    Sound Card
    Realtek HD Audio
    Monitor(s) Displays
    Matte screen
    Screen Resolution
    1024 x 768 x 4294967296 colors
    Hard Drives
    120gb SATA 2.5inch FUJITSU MHZ2120BH G1 ATA Device
    Case
    Notebook
    Cooling
    Fan cooled
    Mouse
    Logitech Cordless Optical
    Keyboard
    Logitech Cordless Desktop EX110
    Internet Speed
    256Kbps
    Other Info
    I like Spore,Rabbits and I'm a Computer Freak.

A pirate walked into a bar, and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."

"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."

"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

"Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."

The bartender replied, "Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"

The pirate explained, "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I'm fine, really."

"What about that eye patch?"

"Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them pooped in my eye."

"You're kidding," said the bartender. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird poop."

"It was my first day with the hook."
 

My Computer

System One

  • Manufacturer/Model
    Custom built
    CPU
    Intel Core i7 920
    Motherboard
    Asus P6T Deluxe V2
    Memory
    6 GB 3x2Gb Corsair DDR3 1600 MHz
    Graphics card(s)
    Ati Radeon Sapphire X1950 XT
    Sound Card
    Onboard SoundMax
    Monitor(s) Displays
    Sony LCD SDM 20.1"
    Screen Resolution
    1600x1200
    Hard Drives
    Seagate HDDs 3x320gb
    Case
    Cooler Master Mystique 632
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    Logitech MX Revolution
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    Logitech diNovo Edge
    Other Info
    HP Deskjet 6980 HP Scanner 4600 Zixel Router ADSL/WiFi P-660HW Microsoft Office Ultimate 2007 Adobe CS4 Design Premium Wacom Intuos Tablet A4
Horse walks into a bar

Bartender..............."are you ok"?

Horse............."yes fine thanks"

Bartender.............."then why the long face"?
 

My Computer

System One

  • Manufacturer/Model
    Custom Build
    CPU
    Intel Q9550 @ 4Gig / Titan Fenir
    Motherboard
    XFX 780i
    Memory
    4GB OCZ PC2-8500C5 DDR2
    Graphics card(s)
    Gainward GTX260/216 SLI
    Sound Card
    Creative X-FI Xtreme Gamer
    Monitor(s) Displays
    Dell UltraSharp 2209WA 22"
    Screen Resolution
    1680x1050
    Hard Drives
    western digital raptor 10000rpm sata
    PSU
    OCZ Modstream 700w
    Cooling
    Titan Fenir
    Mouse
    Logitech G5 Gamer
    Keyboard
    Razer Reclusa
    Internet Speed
    8mb
Hubby has ' I love you' tattooed on his penis and goes home to show his wife, she says 'There you go again, trying to put words in my mouth'
 

My Computer

[FONT=&quot]Bill and Sam, two elderly friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.

One day Bill didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it and figured
maybe he had a cold or something.
But after Bill hadn't shown up for a week or so, Sam really got worried.
However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Sam didn't know where Bill lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.

A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Bill, but one day, Sam approached the park and -- lo and behold! --there sat Bill! Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so.
Then he said, "For crying out loud Bill, what in the world happened to you?"

Bill replied, "I have been in jail."
"Jail?" cried Sam. "What in the world for?"
"Well," Bill said, "you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where I sometime go?"
"Yeah," said Sam, "I remember her. What about her?"

"Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pled 'guilty'

"The damn judge gave me 30 days for perjury." [/FONT]
 

My Computer

System One

  • Manufacturer/Model
    Home made
    CPU
    Intel i7 920 Broomfield-Not overclocked
    Motherboard
    Gigabyte X58-UD4P
    Memory
    12 Gig Corsair Dominator Triple Channel 1600 DDR3
    Graphics card(s)
    Sapphire 3870 X2 - Just the one now
    Sound Card
    Creative Blaster X-FI Titanium Optical to Yamaha Receiver
    Monitor(s) Displays
    Panasonic 50 inch Plasma via HDMI and used as just a Monitor
    Screen Resolution
    1920x1080
    Hard Drives
    Sata Seagate 750 Gig 32MB for the Vista 64 bit and second drive is Sata 300 Gig for extra storage.
    PSU
    Cooler Master 1000
    Case
    Antec 900 extra fans
    Cooling
    Cooler Master Hyper-N520
    Mouse
    MX 5000 Logitech
    Keyboard
    MX 5000 Logitech
    Internet Speed
    Cable 12MBPS
    Other Info
    LG GGW-H20 Blue Ray writer running with Cyberlink Ultra 9. Home Theater system through Yamaha 7.1 Receiver connected to 11 Def Tech speakers, including powered Def Tech 15 inch sub. What can I say I like movies! Not much of a gamer.
[FONT=&quot] Circumcised(this is priceless!)

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was
squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention. She
went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and
whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite
itchy.
The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to
telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did it
and returned to his class.
Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room
She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his
desk with his penis hanging out.
'I thought I told you to call your mom!' she said. 'I did,' he said,
And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and
pick me up from school.'


KIDS; DON'T YOU JUST LOVE THEM??


[/FONT]
 

My Computer

System One

  • Manufacturer/Model
    Home made
    CPU
    Intel i7 920 Broomfield-Not overclocked
    Motherboard
    Gigabyte X58-UD4P
    Memory
    12 Gig Corsair Dominator Triple Channel 1600 DDR3
    Graphics card(s)
    Sapphire 3870 X2 - Just the one now
    Sound Card
    Creative Blaster X-FI Titanium Optical to Yamaha Receiver
    Monitor(s) Displays
    Panasonic 50 inch Plasma via HDMI and used as just a Monitor
    Screen Resolution
    1920x1080
    Hard Drives
    Sata Seagate 750 Gig 32MB for the Vista 64 bit and second drive is Sata 300 Gig for extra storage.
    PSU
    Cooler Master 1000
    Case
    Antec 900 extra fans
    Cooling
    Cooler Master Hyper-N520
    Mouse
    MX 5000 Logitech
    Keyboard
    MX 5000 Logitech
    Internet Speed
    Cable 12MBPS
    Other Info
    LG GGW-H20 Blue Ray writer running with Cyberlink Ultra 9. Home Theater system through Yamaha 7.1 Receiver connected to 11 Def Tech speakers, including powered Def Tech 15 inch sub. What can I say I like movies! Not much of a gamer.
Re: The Joke Thread - The Conversion of the Parrots

The Conversion of the Parrots

…….A lady goes to see her Parish Priest one day, and tells him,

“Father, I have a problem. I have two very pretty female Parrots, but they only know how to say one sentence.”


“And what is it that they can say?”
, says the Priest.

Father, all they can say is, ‘Hi Boys, we’re Hookers! Do you want to have some fun?’

“That’s obscene!
the Priest exclaims,and then he thought for a minute or two. “You know” he says, “I have two handsome male Parrots who can talk their heads off. I have taught them to pray and quote passages from the Bible. Bring your Parrots over to my house, and we’ll put them together in the cage with my two birds, Francis and Job. They will teach your female Parrots to praise and worship, and I’m sure that in no time at all, they will forget their filthy words and thoughts!”

“Oh thank-you Father!”
the woman says, “You may just have solved my problem”

The next day the woman duly arrived at the Priest’s residence, and as he was ushering her into the lounge, she saw that in the large cage, there were the Priest’s two handsome Parrots, each holding a set of Rosary Beads, and with bowed heads, softly praying.

Impressed by what she was witnessing, she walked over to the cage and opening the door, placed her two pretty birds in with the praying handsome Parrots.

There was absolute silence for what seemed hours, until suddenly the pair of females cried out in unison ‘Hi Boys, we’re Hookers! Do you want to have some fun????’

Again there was stunned silence as the Parrots stopped saying the Rosary and with a look of joyful shock on his face, one handsome male Parrot looked over to the other male Parrot, and yelled….

’Put the Rosary beads away Francis, our prayers have been answered!!!!’
 

My Computer

System One

  • Manufacturer/Model
    Acer Aspire Notebook 5633WLMi.[5630 Series]
    CPU
    Intel Centrino Duo Processor - Intel Core 2 CPU.
    Memory
    4GB DDR2 [3.07GB maximum real available]
    Graphics card(s)
    nVidia GeForce Go 7300, 128MB
    Sound Card
    Realtek HD Audio, Ver. 6.0.1.5717, 2.08MB
    Monitor(s) Displays
    Acer Aspire Notebook - 15.4"; Acer LCD Monitor X223Wsd - 22".
    Screen Resolution
    1280x800x60Hertz [max.]
    Hard Drives
    Notebook - Samsung HM320JI 320GB HD installed 07 August 2009. External HDs [4];Maxtor One Touch4 - 500GB External HD [Drive M:\].Western Digital WDXMS1200TA - 120GB External HD [Drive G:\ - Windows Defender Backup Files only]. Two x LaCie 320GB Mobi
    Mouse
    Logitech Wireless V320 for Notebooks - Model M/N: M-RCD125
    Internet Speed
    Down 20000kb/sec / Up 1000kb/sec [Bigpond-Aus]
    Other Info
    Brother MFC-465CN; PC to Fax/Scan/Copy/Photo MFC. Epson Perfection V300 Photo Scanner. Siemens Speedstream 6520 Router. Wacom 'Bamboo Fun' CTE-650 PC Tablet, Stylus and Mouse. UAC - On;Activated. Browsers; [1] FireFox v3.6[2] IE8. Honorary R.S.M. to the 4th [Assault Pioneer] Troop Pune Sepoys , and 3rd Troop Jodhpur Bengali Lancers.
A blonde, wanting to earn some extramoney decided to hire herself out as a 'Handywoman' and started canvassing the neighborhoods.


She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.



'Well, I guess I could usesomebody to paint my porch,' he said. 'How much will you charge me?'


The blonde quickly responded, 'How about $50?'
The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need was in the garage.



The man's wife,hearing the conversation,said to her husband, 'Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?'


He responded, 'That's a bit cynical, isn't it?'


The wife replied, 'You're right.I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes .'



A short time later, the blonde handywoman came to the door to collect her money.'You finished already?' thehusband asked.



'Yes,' the blonde replied, 'and I had paint leftover, so I gave it two coats - no extra charge.'



Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her.



'And by the way,' the blonde added ... 'it's not a Porch -- it's a Lexus'
 

My Computer

System One

  • Manufacturer/Model
    Own Build
    CPU
    Amd Athlon 64x2 5000+
    Motherboard
    Gigabyte M61PSE-S2
    Memory
    4gb
    Graphics card(s)
    Ati Radeon Hd3400
    Monitor(s) Displays
    Samsung Syncmaster 2032bw
    Screen Resolution
    1680 x 1050
    PSU
    500w
    Mouse
    Gamer Mouse Optical GM-4200
    Keyboard
    Logitech G15
    Internet Speed
    8mb
What's brown and sticky?

A stick!

What black and brown and looks good on a lawyer ?

A Doberman :sa:

I like to sub Rottweiler but thats the old joke hehe :D
 

My Computer

System One

  • Manufacturer/Model
    gateway
    CPU
    intel quad
    Memory
    8 gig
    Graphics card(s)
    nvidia
    Sound Card
    realtek
    Monitor(s) Displays
    19' widescreen
    Screen Resolution
    1440 x 900
    Hard Drives
    581 gb
    Internet Speed
    High speed Comcast cable
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking Twenty-five miles to school every morning....


Uphill... Barefoot.....


BOTH ways
In the snow




Yadda, yadda, yadda





And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay
a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.

You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!


And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalogue!!


There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen!


Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take, like, a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!



Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!


There were no MP3' s or Napsters! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself!


Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished and the tape would come undone. Cause - that's how we rolled, dig?


We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it!


And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either!
When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!


We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We
had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen... Forever!
And you could never win.. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!


You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel! NO REMOTES!!!



There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait
ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove! Imagine that!


That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980
or before!

Regards,
The Over 30 Crowd


 

My Computer

System One

  • CPU
    Intel 955
    Motherboard
    Abit
    Memory
    2 GB
    Graphics card(s)
    7900GT
    Sound Card
    Fatal1ty X-FI
    Monitor(s) Displays
    22"
    Hard Drives
    3 - 160GB
    Mouse
    More like a rat.
    Keyboard
    One with buttons on it
    Internet Speed
    Nice and slow.
    Other Info
    I breath in and out.
Not a joke but one hella funny picture :p
funny-dog-pictures-mailman-surprise.jpg
 

My Computer

System One

  • Manufacturer/Model
    gateway
    CPU
    intel quad
    Memory
    8 gig
    Graphics card(s)
    nvidia
    Sound Card
    realtek
    Monitor(s) Displays
    19' widescreen
    Screen Resolution
    1440 x 900
    Hard Drives
    581 gb
    Internet Speed
    High speed Comcast cable
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