I was told 20 months ago I had about 2 years to live, but I think I will last longer than that. Most of the time I'm alright but sometimes I have to have a rest putting on my shoes, after one I get short of breath so I know how Lorien feels. Taking my shirt off and putting it on again at the doctors is a mission as well.
I have to think it's all good though some people don't get the time I have had and I have done a lot in my life so I'm pretty happy with it all. I intend to be around for a while yet.
I had no clue it was that bad for you - I'm sorry to hear about it as well. I didn't realize shortness of breath was a symptom (I guess I need to do a little basic research to try to get a better understanding) - it's much worse than I thought when it was just something other people experienced and hard to explain unless you've been there - and I'm very sorry to hear that you understand. I'm glad to hear you have a positive attitude about it - I'm not so sure I'd be taking it anywhere nearly that well (I'm not taking my own situation all that well and nobody has put any time limits on me though I imagine there's a significant though perhaps not measurable or predictable impact). And as a fellow martial artist, I KNOW you must miss that greatly as I do.
And here you are helping people for free in your spare time - and that's great (and rewarding) as I too understand. Not only is it productive and enjoyable and a good learning experience, but it's something that can normally be done by both of us except perhaps on some of the very bad days when we just wait for the incident to pass and return to the normal baseline.
We need you here - you're a valuable asset and contributor. There aren't many so skilled especially in your timezone, so I'm glad you plan to stay onboard to cover when most of the rest of us are asleep (though in some cases, I wonder if some actually do ever sleep - like Richard and John for example) or help whenever you feel like logging on. It may seem that way with me too (we do share some concurrent online time) - but I just have an odd sleep schedule where I basically nap for a few hours several times each day rather than all at once - but moreso when it's your daytime and in what is my late afternoon and early evening. More medication would help, but I can't talk the doctor into it (and I'm not quite ready to forge prescriptions - especially since the insurance company wouldn't pay for them unless I used different medication and I know what would work and possibly even better than what I am getting though the doctor isn't willing to consider those more extreme options - even if doing so would be fairly simplistic though I know my doctor has a program to check on every medication I submit for insurance reimbursement and could discover it if I did it and he ever checked).
I don't know about you, but shortness of breath takes a lot out of me and saps my energy more than I would have expected (especially since they tell me my oxygen levels are 150% of normal despite that) - so I'm "down" a bit more than I would prefer despite the various medications to deal with that and to help me stay awake and alert which is probably why I sleep like I do.
Sounds like you're having a rough day too, Lorien. So sorry about that! Is there anything else you can do to get some relief?
Sometimes the medication helps, but sometimes nothing at all does any good and it's just a matter of living through it until it passes. It's certainly not like I can exercise or do martial arts training (or get the mail) during an incident. Some have suggested Yoga or something similar and maybe I'll give that a try - but I don't expect it to be very helpful (and that expectation alone is probably enough to defeat whatever benefit it might provide if I believed in it). I may also see a Respiratory Therapist to see if I can learn a different and more effective way of breathing and maybe some tactics to try during a severe attack (even if the pulmonologist who should know more or at least is better trained had none to suggest when I asked him that question). I suppose there are some not so legal ways I could get some relief (even if I'm not sure what they might be or rather which might be the best choice or choices - I imagine some could make things even worse), but that's just not my way and probably the last thing I need to do is add on another problem or simply replace one with another (and I probably can't afford it anyway even if I have no idea what such things cost these days - I imagine quite a bit more than 30+ years ago when I was in college and last knew such things).
I just don't understand how I was smoking 2-3 packs of cigarettes a day for years (with some periods where I quit for a while and some where it was up to 5 packs a day) with no problems whatsoever and then, in the space of
less than a week, I was suddenly in this condition which has not improved very much (slightly, but hardly noticeable) in the 15 or so months since it began. I would have expected the onset to be considerably more gradual and noticeable and give me time to quit before it got anywhere near this bad - but it didn't happen that way.
5 packs? Wow, that is shocking. Had anyone around you expressed concern about it? I had a good friend who would do about 1.5 packs per day. Every so often I'd needle him about it... didn't help that much at the time, but I think it helped plant a seed towards his quitting. He finally did once more (had previously quit 4 times) and then it stuck. From what he surmised, the biggest problem was the "neural connections" of the habit and the "feel good" association. So very hard to break that. And it's never completely broken.
