I have had time to come to terms with it. I feel lucky as I have had a warning of what is to come and many people don't get that time to put their things in order.
My problem came from spraying something similar to Agent Orange on a government farm I was working on when I was younger The product has now been banned world wide and was called 245-T. Very nasty stuff,we were not told how dangerous it was. Bit like when I was at primary school we were told to get under our desks or put a newspaper over our heads if we got nuked. They called it "duck and cover" as if that was going to help.
I had a breathing test and it came up normal, but no-one breathes like they want you to in the test in real life.
I have pain killers most days and sleep really odd hours as well.
I have to be careful what I say when on the pain killers as I don't want another warning from Brink for snide remarks,got one of those already.
Lorien don't get yourself too upset as that will make your breathing harder,use your training and slow your heart rate down as that helps, my at rest rate is now 48:D
EDIT: Lorien you might like to have a look at the book
The easy way to stop smoking by Allen Carr
He died after helping thousands stop by looking at it another way. You all stop smoking every night when you go to bed, you don't wake at intervals to have a smoke, you have stopped.
Each morning you choose to start again.
Don't think about giving up, think about not starting again.
That way you don't feel you are having to give anything up.
If you give in don't beat yourself up about it just try again the next day. Each new day is a chance for a fresh start.
