The Joke Thread

[garysgold]

LMAO :D

I have a pet Burmese Python. He likes this one.

View attachment 9521

Gary

Pet, or no Pet. You just keep your Burmese Python away from 'Arfer'!!:eek:
.......and he didn't like that....... not one little bit!!


View attachment 9526
"Oh no! Beatrice!! Are you okay??"

Arfer is quite safe. Jake is a good swimmer, but not that good.

Gary

 

[NormCameron]

LMAO :D

I have a pet Burmese Python. He likes this one.

View attachment 9521

Gary

Pet, or no Pet. You just keep your Burmese Python away from 'Arfer'!!:eek:
.......and he didn't like that....... not one little bit!!


View attachment 9526
"Oh no! Beatrice!! Are you okay??"

Arfer is quite safe. Jake is a good swimmer, but not that good.

Gary

This is the best python

​

Arfur


​

 

[sassofalco]

:D Love it Norm.....ROTFLMAO!! DD

 

[garysgold]

That's disgusting. j/k

Showed it to Jake. He says he was never too fond of them Green Boas, they have a nasty disposition.

Gary

 

[garysgold]

Actually he is quite gentle. He likes to visit the schools.



A friends neices.

Gary

 

[sassofalco]

Actually he is quite gentle. He likes to visit the schools.....
Gary

.........and crush up the little pre-schoolers, and swallow them whole!! :eek:




Cheapskate!!!

 

[garysgold]

Hey, he eats 40 lbs. at a sitting, who can afford that in this economy.

Actually, I took him to a daycare center once. I was more worried about Jake than the kids. They were all trying to pet him at once and they were stepping on him and tripping over him. I had to make them all sit down and assure them that everyone would get a chance to pet him.

 

[sassofalco]

hey, he eats 40 lbs. At a sitting, who can afford that in this economy.

OK! Credit where credit is due. What a beautiful creature you have there Gary, but surely you mean 'eats at a lying', as I've never seen one of them critters sittin' down for a feed. And how often do you give this creature 40lbs of tucker?

Largest python I have ever seen was an Amythystine Python at a Rainforest spot about 40 mins South from where I live. Another good Mate of mine who has a Rainforest Tours business, also saw it about 30 minutes after me, and we both concluded that it was at least 6 metres [about 19 feet] in length. And huge!! She was carefully guarding her young offspring in a patch of sunlight. Small example here;


I've only ever lost one of my ducks to a Scrub Python, about 3.5 metres [10'-6"] he was, but I just hooked him up, put him in a bag, and released him in Rainforest.

Other beautiful visitors to my backyard are the Green Tree Snakes - also pythons. They are very fast and thin snakes reaching about 1 metre in length, and come in looking for small skinks, lizards and frogs. Their colouration is generally olive green on top with a bright yellow underbelly.

Love 'em all.

 

[garysgold]

He only eats from April to November and I feed him about every 6 weeks. So about 5 times a year. He's quite the critter.

Gary

 

[sassofalco]

He only eats from April to November and I feed him about every 6 weeks. So about 5 times a year. He's quite the critter.

Gary

D'ya know of any women that are able to operate under the same regimen?? Where?? Where?? Tell me now!!!D

 

[skunksmash]

He only eats from April to November and I feed him about every 6 weeks. So about 5 times a year. He's quite the critter.

Gary

D'ya know of any women that are able to operate under the same regimen?? Where?? Where?? Tell me now!!!D

lol......:D when you find a few let me know.



SK

 

[Joan Archer]

Gorgeous snake Gary, how long have you had him, my daughter had a friend who kept them can't remember how many he had though.

It's one pet we've not had, snakes, we've had most everything else at one time or another but now just have my cats and my husbands 60 odd guinea pigs

As for you lot and the feeding regime I'll pass that one over and not raise to the bait :huh:

 

[Joan Archer]

Sass how come you got made up to a Power User ?

 

[sassofalco]

Hey Gary,

I do believe that I have found a source for your python's next appointment with the 'Tucker-Box'. By then, the reproductive capabilities of these little critters should ensure a 'harvest' of around 300........enough for your python to deal to in a 'sitting', or you could open a BBQ at the Mexico City Night Markets.

It's one pet we've not had, snakes, we've had most everything else at one time or another but now just have my cats and my husbands 60 odd guinea pigs

Aha Joan! But you did! The mere fact that you make mention of the subject in the following text, is proof positive that the bait was not only risen to, but also swallowed in one gulp!! Teehee:D!

As for you lot and the feeding regime I'll pass that one over and not raise to the bait :huh:

To be quite frank, I just don't know.......my last Electricity Account was pretty good, all things considered! I have a very sneaky suspicion that a fair amount of 'lobbying' has been done on my behalf by the Sepoys, and I do note that they have been very busy doing the Accounts recently, as a number of my Cheque Butts record large 'Expenses' payments to a Company called "VF Bribes Incorporated"...

Sass how come you got made up to a **Power User ?

Toodle-pip!

**Current Rep Points = 477

 

[garysgold]

D'ya know of any women that are able to operate under the same regimen?? Where?? Where?? Tell me now!!!D

Sorry guys, I'd have to keep her for myself.

Hi Joan,

I've had him about 14 years. He was 8 feet long when I got him. I used to have a female also. Bred them a couple times. Had Boas and others too. Now down to just the one. My apartment burned several years ago and I lost several then. Sold or gave away the rest.

Gary

 

[smarteyeball]

The only 'snakes' I have around here are my next-door neighbors....

 

[KV43]

There is a new study about women and how they feel about their ar$es. The results were pretty interesting:

30% of women think their ar$e is too fat............

10% of women think their ar$e is too skinny......

The remaining 60% say they don't care, they love him, he's a good man, and they wouldn't trade him for the world.

 

[Everlong]

Hahaha.

 

[NormCameron]

This Kid has got ATTITUDE!
​

Norm
​

 

[dinesh]

Thats a good one Norm.