Shawn,
Just wanted to close this topic with a solution:
Basically, what I did (on advice from a guy at The Green Button) was to disable the RTC wake ability in Vista. This, of course, will stop your machine from auto-waking for any reason - to record a show, defrag, whatever has been set to auto-wake. I personally have no use for auto-wake - when I put the machine to sleep, I want it to STAY THERE!
So, here are the steps:
1. Open a CMD prompt
2. powercfg -setacvalueindex scheme_current sub_sleep bd3b718a-0680-4d9d-8ab2-e1d2b4ac806d 0
3. powercfg -setdcvalueindex scheme_current sub_sleep bd3b718a-0680-4d9d-8ab2-e1d2b4ac806d 0
4. powercfg -setactive scheme_current
This changes and applies a new power scheme that stops the machine from being woken from sleep. In my case, I have a desktop system and probably didn't need to set the DC option, but I did both anyway. Thankfully, I was able to find the only person on the planet who appears to know how to do this...
The only remaining issue is that I still don't know for sure what horrible piece of software thought it was a good idea to wake my machine every 2 hours...I have a pretty good suspicion, but I do not intend to reset the powercfg settings to test it, so I won't name names, since I can't be positive. Just happy to have control of my machine back!