Mistranslations and Crazy Instructions

Dwarf

Dwarf

The Contemplator
Vista Guru
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My Computer

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  • Manufacturer/Model
    Dwarf Dwf/11/2012 r09/2013
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    Intel Core-i5-3570K 4-core @ 3.4GHz (Ivy Bridge) (OC 4.2GHz)
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    ASRock Z77 Extreme4-M
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    4 x 4GB DDR3-1600 Corsair Vengeance CMZ8GX3M2A1600C9B (16GB)
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    MSI GeForce GTX770 Gaming OC 2GB
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    Realtek High Definition on board solution (ALC 898)
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    ViewSonic VA1912w Widescreen
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    1440x900
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    OCZ Agility 3 120GB SATA III x2 (RAID 0) Samsung HD501LJ 500GB SATA II x2 Hitachi HDS721010CLA332 1TB SATA II Iomega 1.5TB Ext USB 2.0 WD 2.0TB Ext USB 3.0
    PSU
    XFX Pro Series 850W Semi-Modular
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    Gigabyte IF233
    Cooling
    1 x 120mm Front Inlet 1 x 120mm Rear Exhaust
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    Microsoft Comfort Mouse 3000 for Business (USB)
    Keyboard
    Microsoft Comfort Curve Keyboard 3000 (USB)
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    NetGear DG834Gv3 ADSL Modem/Router (Ethernet) ~4.0 Mb/s (O2)
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    Optical Drive: HL-DT-ST BD-RE BH10LS30 SATA Bluray Lexmark S305 Printer/Scanner/Copier (USB) WEI Score: 8.1/8.1/8.5/8.5/8.25 Asus Eee PC 1011PX Netbook (Windows 7 x86 Starter)
Dwarf said:
Here are some links to mistranslations from around the world. Some are repeated in different links.

http://langs.eserver.org/mistranslations.txt
Language Jokes • Our Favorite Mistranslations
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/laszlo_gabris/FELREAN.HTM
Funny English Mistranslations

Here are some links to crazy instructions. Again, some may be repeated in more than one link.

Stupid product packaging/instructions :: The Funny Pages
creamed-coconut.org » Funny instructions and warnings
Funny Instructions - UKT Support - Message Board
Click to expand...


The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

LMAO

Norm
 

My Computer

System One

  • Manufacturer/Model
    Scratch Built
    CPU
    Intel Quad Core 6600
    Motherboard
    Asus P5B
    Memory
    4096 MB Xtreme-Dark 800mhz
    Graphics card(s)
    Zotac Amp Edition 8800GT - 512MB DDR3, O/C 700mhz
    Monitor(s) Displays
    Samsung 206BW
    Screen Resolution
    1680 X 1024
    Hard Drives
    4 X Samsung 500GB 7200rpm Serial ATA-II HDD w. 16MB Cache .
    PSU
    550 w
    Case
    Thermaltake
    Cooling
    3 x octua NF-S12-1200 - 120mm 1200RPM Sound Optimised Fans
    Mouse
    Targus
    Keyboard
    Microsoft
    Internet Speed
    1500kbs
    Other Info
    Self built.
Warning sign - Warning, Sign Ahead
​


Warning Sign Warning Sign!!!! (800x600) (2).jpg​



This sign.....I refer to it as the 'Warning sign - Warning, Sign Ahead', is actually in place on a narrow winding road cut into a very steep hill-slope, in a high section of Rainforest near to where I live.

The irony is that there is no other warning sign ahead. Previously, a sign for Drivers to 'Watch out for Falling Rocks' was in place, but it was blown away and destroyed during the very destructive 'Cyclone Larry' that hit this area in early 2007. That sign has never been replaced.
 

My Computer

System One

  • Manufacturer/Model
    Acer Aspire Notebook 5633WLMi.[5630 Series]
    CPU
    Intel Centrino Duo Processor - Intel Core 2 CPU.
    Memory
    4GB DDR2 [3.07GB maximum real available]
    Graphics card(s)
    nVidia GeForce Go 7300, 128MB
    Sound Card
    Realtek HD Audio, Ver. 6.0.1.5717, 2.08MB
    Monitor(s) Displays
    Acer Aspire Notebook - 15.4"; Acer LCD Monitor X223Wsd - 22".
    Screen Resolution
    1280x800x60Hertz [max.]
    Hard Drives
    Notebook - Samsung HM320JI 320GB HD installed 07 August 2009. External HDs [4];Maxtor One Touch4 - 500GB External HD [Drive M:\].Western Digital WDXMS1200TA - 120GB External HD [Drive G:\ - Windows Defender Backup Files only]. Two x LaCie 320GB Mobi
    Mouse
    Logitech Wireless V320 for Notebooks - Model M/N: M-RCD125
    Internet Speed
    Down 20000kb/sec / Up 1000kb/sec [Bigpond-Aus]
    Other Info
    Brother MFC-465CN; PC to Fax/Scan/Copy/Photo MFC. Epson Perfection V300 Photo Scanner. Siemens Speedstream 6520 Router. Wacom 'Bamboo Fun' CTE-650 PC Tablet, Stylus and Mouse. UAC - On;Activated. Browsers; [1] FireFox v3.6[2] IE8. Honorary R.S.M. to the 4th [Assault Pioneer] Troop Pune Sepoys , and 3rd Troop Jodhpur Bengali Lancers.
They are not crazy, It's due to morons.....

People are always looking for a way to sue anybody...

remember the idiot with the McDonalds coffee?

..
..
 
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My Computer

System One

Yeah someone sued McDonalds because the coffee they served her in the drive through was hot, and she put it between her legs and the top came off and burned her. She won too. I would have thrown her out of court with massive fines. Oh and someone sued McDonalds because she ate their food all the time and got fat. I think she lost though.

I liked the: Use chambermaid as you please.
 
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My Computer

System One

  • Manufacturer/Model
    Custom
    CPU
    Intel Core 2 Quad Q8200 2.33GHz
    Motherboard
    ASUS P5QC
    Memory
    2x2GB
    Graphics card(s)
    NVidia GeForce 9500GT 1Gb
    Sound Card
    Mobo
    Monitor(s) Displays
    Samsung SyncMaster 206bw
    Screen Resolution
    1680x1050
    Hard Drives
    Samsung SP2514N ATA 250Gb 7200RPM Samsung [Model] 1Tb 7200RPM SATA2
    PSU
    Cooler Master Real Power Pro 750W
    Mouse
    Razer Lachesis
    Keyboard
    Razer Tarantula
    Internet Speed
    not fast enough
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